Caregiver Burnout Series: It’s Us Against the Disease
It’s us against the disease
One of my philosophies is that even though one person physically has the disease, caregivers and close family also “have” the disease. Therefore, it influences and changes many parts of daily life.
That said, the care recipient bears the brunt of the burden on the physical level and often endures difficult medical procedures and changes. This can change the nature of your relationship as well.
Relationship changes and creating connection
In a recent conversation with a caregiver, she said, “I just wanted to be his wife, not his caregiver.” The change in roles from partner, child, parent, sibling, and friends sometimes leads to feelings of being taken for granted. As a result, the care recipient can’t always express gratitude, may be more impatient, and simply not act like the person you’ve always known.
Taking a step back to talk about your mutual frustrations, fears, and worries is one way to create a connection. It may not mean that you’ve solved the problem but recognize that you’re on the same side. Finding ways to take a break or have someone else manage some roles is another way to avoid burnout. Often a care recipient will respond differently to a therapist, nurse, or other caregiver. This doesn’t dishonor you. Instead, it’s one way to create a boundary around your relationship to keep it intact.
C. Grace Whiting, president of the National Alliance for Caregiving, reminds us, “As much as it feels like it is me versus them right now, it’s us against the disease. Unfortunately, the disease is doing this.”
Next steps
When you feel overwhelmed by the disease process, reach out for support. Research shows that connecting with other caregivers and allies is good for your overall well-being.
Connect with me for a free initial call, and we’ll find at least one solution for an immediate difference.
PS. This is the fourth article in an 8-week, 8-post series.
Next up: Seek Occupational Therapy (coming Monday, 16 August)
Previously:
Caregiving can be a challenging time.
Grab my “Getting Your Docs In A Row” checklist to help you prepare to care.