Caregiver Burnout Series: Ask for Specific Help
Conversations with caregivers often move to how and when to ask for help.
We often feel like we can or should handle it all. But, caution, this is a step into the world of guilt.
So let’s head in a different direction.
Often a friend or family member will tell us to take care of ourselves or let them know if we need anything.
While well-meaning, we don’t always know what those phrases mean. Will they come and offer respite, a listening ear, or take us out to dinner?
Those are all reasonable solutions, but we might need something different.
Many times we don’t know we need something until we need it. That’s okay. It’s also an excellent time to make a note of what’s required and when.
If it’s urgent, we will need to have people in our circle who are willing and able to be quick responders.
For more future-oriented or predictable needs, we can plan.
Here’s where developing our support Circle is useful. We identify and ask others to be part of our circle. There’s a method for having this conversation, and I am happy to help you with this. We may find that someone will decline to be a helper, and while it might be a disappointment, it’s good to know this so we can ask someone else.
Even if you don’t know someone else at the moment, that’s the beauty of a Circle. There’s someone who does know someone, and a new friend or supporter is just around the corner.
Simple ideas to ask for help
Some ideas that others have found helpful include asking a friend to organize a Meal Train for you. In addition, keeping on top of your health and well-being needs, such a doctor, dental, hair styling, and exercise appointments, is vital to keeping burnout at bay.
Another tool to assist you in asking for help is using specific caregiver apps. They are free and easy to use. For example, you can designate who is in the caregiver circle and identify who gets notified when particular needs arise. You might think of something late at night, and instead of directly contacting someone, you put the request into the app and allow them to respond. You save time and energy while asking for and receiving help.
Next steps
If you’re finding it hard to ask for help, not sure what to ask for or whom to ask, let’s have a chat to identify who to invite into your Circle of Caregiving. Not only will you receive, but it allows others to know what you need and give accordingly. Message me on my contact page to connect.
PS. This is the second article in an 8-week, 8-post series.
Previously: Caregiver Burnout Series: Management One Bite at A Time
Next up: Practice Active Coping
Caregiving can be a challenging time.
Grab my “Getting Your Docs In A Row” checklist to help you prepare to care.