Caregiver Burnout Series: Management One Bite at A Time
“Everyone told me to take care of myself. I didn’t even know what that meant.”
My caregiver friend expressed a sentiment I have heard many times and felt for myself. I believe we offer that phrase to others with the best intentions not appreciating it can create more confusion.
In the mix of the “doing” of caregiving, caring for ourselves can feel like one more thing to add to a list.
I’m pleased to see more articles and commentary about Caregiver Burnout. Forbes recently published a report with recommendations for how to avoid burnout.
Caregiver burnout has many different faces.
It may present as emotional or physical exhaustion. There’s simply nothing left to give.
Other symptoms include a lack of concern or negative feelings toward the person who needs care.
We can begin to feel less confident or capable as a caregiver.
We’re lonely, increasingly isolated, and anxiety, depression, and other stress symptoms appear.
It’s hard to admit one, or more, of these symptoms. However, when I lead caregiver groups, the topic inevitably does lead to a discussion of burnout.
Once we realize others understand these feelings, we get to explore the solutions. Caregivers are open and generous, sharing what works for them and supporting one another.
Burnout is a big topic that reflects significant underlying issues.
However, we don’t need to bite off a big chunk with the solutions.
As they say, “Eat the elephant one bite at a time.”
Define what’s most challenging in your caregiving role.
We all find ourselves overwhelmed at some point along the way.
Caregiving needs tend to build quietly or subtly over time. As a result, we may not recognize how our responsibilities are increasing.
Instead, we add one thing on top of another. One day we end up irritable and distressed, not sure what to do about it.
Grace Whiting, President of the National Alliance for Caregiving, suggests talking to a friend, therapist, or even a trusted neighbor--someone who can see your situation from the outside and can offer a different perspective.
The benefit of this approach is that you can pinpoint at least one area of distress or help you realize the thing you didn’t want to admit.
By identifying one or two things, you begin to source solutions to stressors that you’re able to address. Taking a micro approach gives you some quick relief and space to breathe.
It’s always a work in progress
Caregiving stress will continue to change shape, so practicing this on a routine basis helps you identify where you’re having success and what now needs your focus.
Filling the “well of your being” is essential for healthy caregiving. By filling this cup by cup, you better understand what “taking care of yourself” means.
If you want to chat about what you’re finding hard about caregiving, send me a message on my contact page to book a discovery session with me.
PS. This is the first article in an 8-week, 8-post series.
Next up: Asking for Specific Help (coming Monday, 26 July)
Caregiving can be a challenging time.
Grab my “Getting Your Docs In A Row” checklist to help you prepare to care.