Love or judgment?
"Does this situation need my love or my judgment?"
I wrote this on a small sticky note that's on my bulletin board above my desk. My apologies to the source, one of the many trainings or webinars I've been on in the past year or two. It's one of those phrases I needed to hear and need to remember. I'd say that it's rare that a situation is better without my love. It usually doesn't need my judgement.
"Earth, planet of shame."
That's one I conjured up and often repeat. Too often it seems true to me. Shame is one of those emotions that has a both a gift and a curse. The gift comes when we're aware that we're acting in a way that's out of bounds. The curse is when it plagues us with the sense that we're "less than." I'm concerned about what this recent pandemic is showing us about shame.
We don't have to think back far to remember when diseases carried shame with them. Leprosy, Cancer, AIDS, and Alzheimer's to name a few. Now Covid-19 or Coronavirus as it's also called.
Stories emerge about the secrecy people carry about disclosing their diagnosis. Residents in apartment buildings try to "out" anyone who has been ill. In a shop a person mentions they've recovered and others step away. What's behind this? Fear? But, it's also shame.
Shame compounds isolation and loneliness.
We hear that loneliness is on the rise.I work with family caregivers. They teach me that loneliness and isolation are frequent companions on their journey. We don't choose our illness. Covid-19 is a clear example of that. It's an equal opportunity destroyer.
The human body is soft and vulnerable. It doesn't respond well to accidents and injuries. We can only imagine what some long-term effects of this illness will have. The one effect it doesn't need is shame. Not for the ill or their caregivers.
"Does this situation need my love or my judgment?"
I'm clear that it needs my love. What about you?
Caregiving can be a challenging time.
Grab my “Getting Your Docs In A Row” checklist to help you prepare to care.